Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
