Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
