Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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