Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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