sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
