his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize