party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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