I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My penis needs a shock collar
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
