She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
