let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
