Your tits are I can't wait for
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
