you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
