you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
