I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
soo... how was my night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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