The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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