i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
