tell your sister to shave her snatch
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
