pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
