after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
