I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
