not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
