Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
