Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
