god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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