You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
