our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
