dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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