nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
