he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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