It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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