The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
