I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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