My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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