Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There r osticjed everywhere
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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