just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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