So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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