It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
