If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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