My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
