I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
