Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Let's get the cat blown out
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
