Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
