So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
