No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
