But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This baby is an asshole
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ok first of all what the fuck
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