Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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