You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
