It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
