Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
not ubering you a puppy
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
