the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize