I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
