Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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