I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
