Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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