What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
