The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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