I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
