I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just found puke in my bra..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
