a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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