Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You took a bar mat shot.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
