I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
